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| Frogness |
My husband and I worked hard to raise our children by listening to them and allowing them the freedom to follow their early dreams. We gave them Freedom within Limits. It is an interesting concept which I will continue to explore in future posts.
So perhaps it is now time to go viral with this parenting strategy. What if our children and grandchildren are wise enough to know the truth about many things. They still need to be held by us but they need increasingly more freedom to express themselves. That is what we always wanted isn't it? Please read this beautifully written op ed piece by two High School students about openly sharing the emotions and feelings of depression. Depressed But Not Ashamed.
The whole concept of child led parenting runs so counter to the mainstream thinking on parenting which casts parents in the role of leader, teacher, knower of what is best and children as the ones who need to be taught the way. My son Nik has verbalized this to me quite a number of times. He talks about how "messed up" and nonsensical the world is--and it is hard to argue. We "knowers of everything" have made quite a mess of it. We accept things as they are because that is what is and what was....NOT necessarily what is right or good. I can think back on many, many instances where I did what was considered the responsible thing in my parenting, but which turned out in retrospect to be the completely wrong thing for my child. So this task of co-creating with our children, listening more and talking less, supporting more and leading less, respecting more and controlling less....it is a delicate dance we do and one which the world has a zillion labels for--permissive, enabling, irresponsible, airy fairy, in-denial, weak--because a child that speaks a truth that runs counter to the status quo is feared and the rules are written to keep him small. So today, even though I will be judged as part of the problem, I listened to my son and supported him in a decision that he feels is best for him. I have received texts, phone calls and voicemails from the establishment, but it is good to feel the inner knowing and sense of peace that comes from making the right move to support my son.
ReplyDeleteNicely said. Thank you so much for your courage. What I did not say but what you say so clearly is that child led parenting is not easy. It takes listening to your heart even when the outside noise is deafening....
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